I will freely admit that our children have missed out on some things because we homeschool high school. There is no doubt that there are experiences that the public school provides that we just cannot replicate in our home. Some people even quit homeschooling at this level, because they don't want their children to miss out on anything.
Hey, lookee here, if you'd rather listen to this one, you can do that! Read by yours truly!! :-)
Here are some of the things that we couldn't do the same as the public school:
1. Sports
In our home state of Missouri, students are not allowed to participate in public school sport teams unless they are enrolled at the school for at least 6 hours every day. Well, that kind of rules out homeschoolers, doesn't it? We unfortunately learned this the hard way with #2, who loved to play softball and had grown past the community recreational league stage. When I called the high school to find out if she could practice with them, we learned the unhappy news.
Interestingly enough, now that #2 is in college, she is playing on the JV team there and having a great time. Did she get an athletic scholarship? No. But she did get an academic one – and these days you have to choose between one or the other; you're not allowed to stack them. So, while it would have been fun to play organized sports in high school, it did not overly hinder her from playing in college.
2. Performance opportunities like choir, orchestra, theater, etc.
#1 plays violin and would have loved to be part of a school orchestra. The best we could do was for her to participate in a community student orchestra. There she took part in two concerts per year.
Yet in spite of not having much performance experience, #1 was accepted by one of her top college picks to be a classical violin major. Now she is the concertmaster of the school's chamber orchestra and is due to graduate with honors this spring. She plans to go to grad school for music.
3. Art instruction
We tried to do art in our homeschool, but what do I know? Basically nothing. So they drew their pictures and I said “well done,” but there was no real feedback.
ABut get this: after having no formal art instruction in high school, #2 is now majoring in Illustration. She has taught herself everything she knows about art – in fact, after her first college drawing class, in which she received an A, she said that she hadn't really learned anything new in the class.
4. Honors/AP courses
At least one of my teens would have eaten these up. She LOVES academia and would have risen to the challenge of the intense reading and writing required for one of these. I know you can do them as a homeschooler, but I've never felt up to the task.
What may seem surprising is though she had no experience with an Honors course, this same student now has a 3.9 GPA in college. Because we taught her at home how to master independent learning, she has been able to handle all of the classes at college with little difficulty. Perhaps receiving AP credit would have been nice; but for all the hype that's given to the idea, I am not convinced that all the time and effort are worth it.
Related Reading: How to Teach the Most Valuable Skill Your Child Will Ever Need (Independent Learning)
Hmmmm, there seems to be a pattern here. In each case, my children have overcome the supposed “missed opportunity” and have not been significantly hindered by not having these experiences at the public school. How crazy is that?
Oh yea, and let's not forget these other missed opportunities because we homeschool high school:
5. Opportunities to purchase drugs or drink alcohol
I used to work with a 19-year old who had just graduated from our local high school. I asked her how prevalent the drugs and alcohol were. She said it was everywhere, every day.
6. Opportunities to have innappropriate conversations regarding sex
I remember the conversations I used to have when I was in high school, over 30 years ago. There is no doubt they are much more graphic now. Kids WILL talk about this stuff – even our own goody-two-shoes, morally upright, Christian ones. Is it just a matter of picking the right friends? That probably helps a little. But I'm thinking most parents would be surprised by what their children are talking about each and every day.
7. Opportunities to be taught via government-mandated sex ed and the Common Core
I'm sorry to offend anyone, but I really do not believe the government knows better than I do what (and how) my child should learn about sex. And I also am not a fan of the Common Core. “It takes a village” isn't valid about these things, in my opinion. I firmly believe that ordinary, loving parents, such as little ol' me, can teach children better than whatever the government prescribes.
8. Opportunities to spend more time with peers than family
So that the end result is that the peers become more important than the family. And the family becomes a group of independent people living in the same house, rather than an interdependent unit. Well, that's not gonna happen on my watch. I still believe family trumps friends any day. Or it should, anyway.
Gotta say it: THOSE types of “missed opportunities,” I don't feel bad about AT ALL.
So by now you might have realized my point: that my children have NOT missed out on anything significant because we homeschool high school. With a little ingenuity we can find ways to provide what our children truly need – and even in many cases, what they want. Or they will pursue what interests them (because they will have the TIME to do so), regardless of the lack of outside opportunities. And in the meantime, their character development (my main reason for homeschooling, personally) will have been protected, and the family will remain a priority.
Are you worried about them getting into college (or getting a scholarship) without filling their transcript with activities? Don't be. Our experience has been that extra-curriculars are not nearly as important as test scores and grades — and picking the right college. For more about that, read The Truth about How to Look Good on College Applications.
To quit homeschooling because the high school can provide so many more “opportunities” is short-sighted and ignoring half the picture, in my opinion. Are those opportunities – ALL of them – truly necessary and/or beneficial to our children?
In our family, we decided they were not. In fact, we are actually incredibly thankful to homeschool high school, rather than doing the alternative. What do you think?
For more information about how to homeschool high school, check these out!
Ann has written Cure the Fear of Homeschooling High School: A Step-by-Step Manual for Research and Planning, Save Your Sanity While Homeschooling High School: Practical Principles for a Firm Foundation, and recently Taming the Transcript: The Essential Guide to Creating Your Teen's Homeschool Transcript from Scratch (without overwhelm). She also founded the popular Facebook groups It's Not that Hard to Homeschool High School and It's Not Hard to Homeschool K-8, and in addition she voices the It's Not That Hard to Homeschool High School Podcast.
- The Secret to Finding God's Will for Today - March 25, 2024
- Our Main Reason for Homeschooling: Character Development - January 18, 2024
- Homeschool Transcript Essentials: what you need and DON'T need! - January 13, 2024
We home school high school too and I appreciate this article very much. At some point you have to realize that every program has “holes” and that no one program can do it all. Fortunately, as believers, we can trust God to weave the opportunities, as well as the lacks, all together into what He has for each of us! Thank you for sharing these insights so honestly and clearly! Great article.
“We can trust God to weave the opportunities, as well as the lacks, all together into what He has for each of us.” SO WELL SAID, Sarah! Thanks for the comment!
Hi Ann,
Can I ask you if you had your kids to participate in homeschool programs? We live in Colorado and here some charter schools offer homeschool enrinchment program once or even twice a week for a few hours. I would like to know what you think about that. I am on my first year of homeschool with my kindergartener son. I am asking myself if I should or not have him on one of these enrinchment programs. Thank you for your article it reminds me why I love homeschool
Hi Dayane! We started participating in Classical Conversations this year, which is basically a homeschool co-op that meets one day each week. When we were just beginning homeschooling, my kids were in a homeschool program for classes like music, art, and PE. They had fun and I enjoyed meeting with the other moms. It’s certainly not a requirement for homeschooling, and there were many years when we didn’t do it, but for kindergarten it can be a fun way to vary your days. It’s not a “should” but a “do I want to” — so whatever you decide will be fine! :-)
Yes, wow I love your words!
20+ years of homeschooling, here, too and I would never look back with regret. Homeschooling has been one of my best life choices.
No doubt about it, the younger years were fun and much easier. High School can be tough. But I am so grateful to God for the choice to do it and the opportunity to get know and love
on my kids the way I have been able to—all the way to adulthood! 😉
I wholeheartedly agree! The trade offs simply aren’t worth it. And we know first hand because my two oldest experienced high school themselves before we discovered homeschooling. So we’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly. My daughter once told me not to let her younger sister go to her high school because it would destroy her innocence. Oh the high school stories my two oldest could tell! (And Conmon Core is bad news!)
Aw, Camie, I love how your older daughter wanted to protect her sister! Thanks for chiming in — firsthand experience, while I wouldn’t wish this kind on anyone, is always more convincing. And thanks for stopping by!
Love this list! Even though my kids are not in high school grades yet, people are always surprised to hear that I’m homeschooling the whole way through. High school is a delicate time and the only opportunities I think my kids would miss out on are things I dont want them doing in the first place! We are lucky to have a good homeschool community here and I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything!
“…the only opportunities I think my kids would miss out on are things I don’t want them doing in the first place…” EXACTLY, Randi! Why do people forget that? Thanks for the comment! :-)
Thank you for sharing your post with us on the Hip Homeschool Hop! I love this article! You are right that there are some good things our homeschooled high schoolers miss out on, but there are far more negative things that they miss out on, and I’m thankful for that! In many areas, though, there are homeschool sports teams, art classes, drama and dance classes, and even journalism, biology labs, field trips, etc. being offered. As homeschooling becomes more and more prevalent, our students will have more opportunities to participate in these activities, but even if they don’t, I’m ok with them missing out on the bad things in exchange for all of the wonderful good things they get instead! :)
YES, Wendy! In fact I think that sounds like another blog post — Opportunities My Teens GET Because We Homeschool High School! Thanks for your kind words, and thanks for the comment! :-)
Classes By Beth has AP English Composition (online course) if you have a child that wants AP and you don’t want to teach it. Check it out if you have more children besides the one mentioned.
Thanks for the info, Trena! That sounds like a good resource for anyone wanting to avoid the inevitable college freshman comp course. Thanks for stopping by! :-)
Great to know; we totally plan on homeschooling through high school.
Yay, glad to hear it!! :-) :-)
Great article! My oldest is graduating this year and I have 3 younger ones, whom will all graduate as homeschool students. Not sure what part of Missouri you’re in, but we are so blessed with a homeschool orchestra and choir as well as all types of sports teams in the Springfield, MO area!
Hey, neighbor! I’m actually about an hour south of Springfield, so it’s a bit far to participate in regular activities. My daughter did do a youth orchestra up there (the one I mentioned in my post, although I forget it’s name already), but that was after she could drive herself, lol. But the point remains — there are PLENTY of opportunities without needing to put our kids into public school. Thanks for the comment, Tricia! :-)
My children will miss out on bullying. My daughter will miss out on being labeled “weird” because of her special needs. My son will miss out on forced meds because he is probably ADHD. They will miss out on homework that takes until bedtime.
Yes to all of these! Great thoughts, Karen! :-)
I have no problems with my kids missing that second list. ;-)
Fortunately, we’ve found plenty of opportunities for all the other stuff. Our area is pretty all-natural place, full of homebirthing, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, holistic-medicine-using, homeschool families. (People like ME!) So nearly every museum, zoon, science center, library (even Disney and the Kennedy Space Center) cater to homeschoolers. Plus there’s our homeschool groups (there are a LOT of them around here), where we have P.E. and many field trips. The local 4-H is good for cooking, sewing, archery, art (performing and fine) and a list of other activities.
Great post!
Thanks, Michelle! Sounds like you have everything you need! Thanks for stopping by! :-)
All I have to say is a big AMEN! Very well put :)
Thanks, Teresa! And thanks for stopping by! :-)
Well said. Thanks for the homeschooling encouragement. What a boost.
You’re welcome, Latisha! Thanks for stopping by! :-)
Great post! We live around a large city so outside classes, group sports and extra-curriculars are readily available to us and all support our kids as they “miss out” on all the other stuff while we homeschool all the way through High School. Just one thought, the original purpose of the “It takes a village” quote had absolutely nothing to do with public institutions like schools and so-called standardized curriculum. The folks who misuse that quote diminish its meaning significantly. I appreciate our village very much, but it consists of like minded folks who sow into the lives of our children and support our family by building upon the spiritual foundation we have set according to the Word of God.
I agree that your use of “it takes a village” is the best use of it. A certain book was written with that title, though, and I don’t think that’s what the author had in mind… Thanks for stopping by, Nicole!! :-)
Thank you for this great blog post! We are brand new to homeschooling (soon to be Kindergartner and a toddler), but I can say that I am very thankful we are making the leap now instead of later. It is really comforting to read such articles when it seems we are confronted with so much negativity about our decision. I’m sure you’ve also heard all of the questions about socialization and sports, etc. Anyway, thank you for the confirmation that, even during the teen years, our kids are not left out or behind because we choose to not let them grow up in the village of public schools.
Yay, Bridget!! Welcome to homeschooling!! You will NOT regret it! OK, maybe sometimes… lol. But you go, girl, and come back and let me know how you’re doing.:-)
I don’t have any kids yet, but my experience of high school definitely left me with a bad taste in my mouth and I do not want my kids going through that. Despite my school having a reputation as one of the best in the region, all of those things-drugs, alcohol, sex, bullying-were very prevalent and I couldn’t wait to leave. I am definitely planning on homeschooling my kids, once I have them.
Yes, I wonder sometimes if parents have any idea what goes on… you will love homeschooling! Thanks for the comment, Rachel! :-)
I SO wish homeschooling was more of an option when my kids were small. I’m a widow and so had to work to support our family but homeschooling would have suited my children so much better than public schools. My daughter might not have felt so bad about herself that she dyed her hair dark because the other girls called her, “dumb blond” and she took it to heart, though she is nowhere near “dumb”. My son might not have begun using drugs that nearly destroyed both him and our family.
We went to church. We are a Christian family but sometimes that isn’t enough. If I had it to do over, we would homeschool, even if we had to live at the edge of poverty. The world is a scary place and the more a parent can control it’s influences, the better.
Oh, Dawn, my heart aches for you. We do the best we can with what we know at the time, and I think EVERY parent has regrets. But there can be big consequences that we don’t foresee, can’t there? HUGS!!! And thanks for sharing your story. I hope things have settled down for you now.
I am getting ready to homeschool high school, just finished middle school at home. I wondered about some of these because she was in a arts school through 6th grade and I didnt want her to miss out on things that would help her with college. Thank you for sharing, it has helped ease my fears.
Oh good, Tiffany, I’m glad. There are so many options you can take to get your kids the opportunities you want them to have, without having to give up homeschooling. Keep on keeping on! :-)
Hillary Clinton was the person who coined the “it takes a village” phrase, I do believe.
Yep, I actually do know that, and did when I wrote the post. But I wasn’t gonna name-drop, lol. I think my statement still holds true. But with all the temptation in the world to do so, I’m not gonna comment beyond saying that. :-)
It is actually an African Proverb. She did not coin this phrase.
In African culture the community does come together to do whatever needs to be done. They are like a large family. They rely on each other and help each other as if they are a natural family.
I figured it was not original to her. :-)
Thank you for this post! We are not there yet in my family but have been thinking about it a lot lately since so many home schoolers around us put their children back in at this age or middle school. It’s nice to hear how you still were able to place them in opportunities. You are a role model and an inspiration! Thank you.
Aw, thanks for the sweet words, Rachel! You will NOT regret continuing to school through the high school years! Thanks for stopping by! :-)
I just found this & wanted to say thank you! Sometimes I worry about mine “missing out” but your post made me feel better. I was sitting behind a group of high schoolers at my daughter’s soccer game the other day & was in shock at the snapchat photos they were looking at on their phones. Your list is well written & I couldn’t agree more that I’m glad my kids are missing out on #’s 5-8.
We have all felt that way, Christine. I’m in a way kind of glad that you were able to see firsthand the type of thing that goes on. That probably motivated you more than my article! :-)
I appreciate your encouragement that you provide in your articles. It is like a breath of fresh air. As far as the ” it takes a village ” thing, that concept has been misrepresented by government as meaning that they should have a part in raising our children. Originally it was referring to a family and extended family unit as having value in raising a child. Thanks so much for keeping things real and helping to quell the panic amongst us Homeschool parents!?
Yes, Anna, I like that interpretation of the phrase much better! Thanks for the comment! :-)
HS HS was the best, hardest decision we ever made. We were losing our girls to society and I refused to let the flock tell them who they should be. They also had some academic bumps stemming from 6th grade math and this way we smoothed it out. My girls have blossomed, and their relationship is stellar: encouraging, reminding one another, positive. I have out of the box thinkers who were beginning to fail the one method taught In public school. I homeschooled (Unschool method) to relinquish the institutional brainwash, then enrolled them in GA K12. Their placement scores were high above average across the board. Sometimes we have to recognize that the rat maze isn’t designed for kids who are not rat maze kids. Plain algebra they didn’t get. We started talking about Channing Tatum and donuts and all of a sudden they know quadratic equations, real and imaginary numbers, irrational numbers including Fibonacci and Pi… I have two more riding high schoolers and maybe they’ll go differently. But school on the beach, exploring, identifying, researching, communicating with Wildlife Division…Public school can’t always give them the best for their individuality. Baseball be damned.
Now *I* wanna talk about Channing Tatum and donuts!! What a great story, Nicole! Thanks for sharing! :-)
Your article could not have crossed my inbox at a better time. I am just a few days into homeschooling my 16yo daughter, due to terrible anxiety. Naturally, I am feeling overwhelmed myself at the prospect of finishing high school at home, as I have never done anything like this before. But I was not prepared for the judgement and criticism that I would encounter from friends and family that think we have made a disastrous mistake! I wish I had had your article with me when I had these conversations. Thank you for helping me remember why I did this for my daughter and for giving me the tools to defend my decision next time!
Kristen, I am SO PROUD of you for doing what is best for your daughter!! You can do this thing!! HUGS! :-)
Preach it, sista!
Neither of my two oldest (now married and settled in careers) regrets being homeschooled through college, and actually were able to develop the passions they pursue today by having the freedom to learn at home. I have to admit there were times I DID think they might do better at a traditional school, but now having seen ‘the proof in the pudding’, I’m totally sold on our last three launching off from our own home base ;-) Thanks for sharing your experiences to encourage others!
Headed over from “Finishing Strong”…
Yes, “the freedom to learn at home.” Too many think of it as restricting, when actually it opens up so many more pathways for learning! Thanks for stopping by, Pat! :-)
Thank you for your blog. I think it’s easy to forget that and glorify the PS experience. Especially the more time passes. Kind of a “the grass is greener on the other side” scenario. Sometimes being a part of every moment and milestone means I don’t always see all the progress made for months. Which can feel like standing still or failing. I can’t speak for anyone else but, I need constant reminders why we made this choice and why we continue. Especially on those crazy days when it all seems to be falling apart. ? Thank you again!
“Sometimes being a part of every moment and milestone means I don’t always see all the progress made for months.” That is an EXCELLENT point, Heidi! And yes, I used to need constant reminders, too. After awhile you get used to how you need to talk to yourself about it, and you don’t give into the negativity as much any more. It also helps to see how they do after graduation, when all of your hard work comes to fruition and they become these amazing people that you can’t believe are your own children. If you haven’t experienced that yet, you will!! HUGS!!
Love this! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks! And you’re welcome! :-)
Hi Annie, I’ve made the decision this week to start homeschooling my son this coming year. I’ve researched so many things…probably at least 30 hours in the last 4 days to the point I can’t sleep at night. I’m up restless at 3 am, get my son off to school and I’m on the computer until my son gets home from school (or even after). I really have to say of all the blogs and articles I’ve read, after finding yours, I really enjoy yours the most! My son is 13 with ADHD & 2 other learning disabilities and going into 7th grade next year. I’m a bit intimidated, but more excited & confident to get my son out of this bullying school system with a horrible special education program! Anyways thank you! I am really enjoying reading your blogs!!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Sharla! My guess is he will THRIVE at home where he feels safe and loved. You go, Mom!! :-)
Love this. This couldn’t have come at a better time to me. We are about to start high school, and all those doubts of missed opportunities have been plaguing me. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I love your common sense, down to earth perspective. Sometimes we make this homeschool journey so complicated, because we hold our child’s whole education in our hands…it feels like. It is a scary thing. This post has helped me calm down. I am excited to begin the journey. Question: how did you help your daughter accept that she could not play a sport she loved for that bit of time? Our 2nd is so disappointed that he cannot play basketball right now. It is just too expensive for us, and too heavy a time commitment. (3 days a week plus travel) He is crushed. He has loved basketball since he started walking.
Yes, that is always a tough one. We always explained that we have to think of what’s best for the entire family, not just one person. If we can make the sacrifices necessary for one to be involved in something without TOO much trouble for everyone else, we do so. But finances, in particular, were often the cause for us to have to say “no.” And yes, especially when you have a large family, as we do, then it becomes much harder to work the logistics of everyone being able to do the activities they want. We sympathized but tried to get them to see the bigger picture of family needs and God’s plan for them to be servants rather than self-seeking. Hope this helps! :-)
I was homeschooled as a kid (2nd grade through high school) and now homeschool my children. People ask me all the time when I’m going to “let” my kids go to regular school and if I’m at least going to put them in school for high school. I won’t rule it out completely, because there’s always the possibility that something drastic will happen that will make me put my kids in school, but it would have to be something really huge.
What I always tell people is this: high school is the perfect time to homeschool! I so appreciate my time as a homeschooled high schooler. As a high schooler, I watched my friends spend hours at school and then come home and spend hours more on homework. If they were part of an organized sport or other group, that pretty much made up their day. In contrast, as a homeschooler, I spent a great deal less time on my schoolwork, and I still learned a lot that I remember to this day. I also had enough free time to be part of a national Bible quizzing team, which required a lot of studying and practicing before meets. And I joined an online history roleplaying community. And I had time to start my own online magazine, for which I wrote 8-12 short articles each month and then advertised it on various message boards and sent it out to subscribers. The only time I felt stressed or pressed for time was right before my magazine would come out each month (a completely self-imposed deadline for a completely self-designed project). I am so grateful that I had the time and opportunity to explore my interests and create something meaningful while still getting all my schoolwork done. Instead of feeling like I missed out on the public school experience, I feel truly blessed to have had an awesome homeschool experience — and I’m excited to give that to my own kids too.
Wow, that sounds WONDERFUL! Thanks for sharing all the detail — that helps us see the possibilities. Great stuff!!! :-)
Great article! Very reassuring, as I have only just started fully homeschooling my 12 year old. I have been a bit worried because we are a tad isolated and he doesn’t get to hang out with kids his age as much as he would like. I was contemplating sending him to public school in high school but i think your article has been very helpful in steering me off that course. My son is so much happier and emotionally stable after just one month of homeschooling, I am amazed at the difference! He was stressed out, anxious, missing sleep and very off balance even going to school just 3 days a week {special DL school} Thank you so much for writing this article!
Yay, I’m glad you brought him home! You won’t regret keeping him there through high school, especially if you can already tell he’s happier and more stable. :-)
I never took the “it takes a village to raise a child” phrase that way. When I first heard it, my thought was, “Well, Duh!” because i know the community my parents had brought me up in helped raise me…my church (the biggest part other than my family) as well as close friends and even the small school I attended. I was beyond blessed by that ” village” all growing up. So, I never saw that as negative and never took it as meaning the state either. Just my take on it.
I’ve had others say that to me as well. I only meant it in the context that I don’t think the government needs to decide that my kid needs to learn “those” types of things (specified in the article). I’m thinking about taking the quote out, because I don’t want it to distract from the main point of the article — we’ll see. :-)
We’re lucky. In Florida, home school students can participate in extra-curricular activities in public schools. I use to work at a high school, and yes I agree with everything else. Also, you forgot to mention how social media effects kids in a public school setting. They are glued to their phones and share all sorts of stuff without anyone noticing.
Yes, you are right! It’s crazy how much of a difference the whole social media thing has made… and not for the better, imho!
It also doesn’t hurt to write that list of what a homeschooler would *miss* when attending a conventional high school. My daughter is working on launching her own business, and a 6-hour school day would take a lot of time away from her efforts, including a daytime apprenticeship. My son is an aspiring scientist, and we can beat the tourist rush and go study tide pools on a weekday in October. In fact, we do all kinds of field trips that don’t require permission slips. Does this mean that nobody can attend a conventional high school and become an entrepreneur or scientist? On the contrary, countless people do! Like you said, there’s plenty of time to make up for any pre-college gaps.
Another consideration is where you live. In my state, it *is* legal to enroll homeschoolers in school activities. Policies against this are ridiculous because homeschoolers pay the same taxes for schools as everybody else, so it’s worth contacting elected officials to change some of these laws. Regardless, my community also has an excellent, well-developed parks and rec program that offers sports programs for all ages, including teenagers and adults, so we just take advantage of this resource.
Yay, I’m glad you have those opportunities where you live. :-)
Great read!!! This was our experience homeschooling high school as well. You put all my thoughts into words. :)
:-) :-)
What I love about homeschooling is that my daughter has learned to seek out what she wants to learn. It’s taught her to research and be independent. She wanted to learn to play piano. We couldn’t afford lessons, nor did we have room for a piano, so we compromised and bought a keyboard and she has taught herself how to play. Now she has decided to take on violin. Again, we cannot afford lessons, so she will be learning on her own. I loved reading your article. I was scared to death thinking about teaching high school but I have found it is not as scary as I thought it would be and my daughter is doing well. I especially loved your insights into what are children are not missing out of in public school. We are the only ones in our family( or friends) who homeschool and the difference between how our daughter acts and some of the behaviors of her cousins is crazy. So glad we homeschool!
Yes, I love that aspect of it — that our kids learn how to LEARN. So for the rest of life, they can learn whatever they want to! :-)
I thank you for this post. I was never home-schooled nor knew any home-schooled families. I’m learning the ropes as we go. This is very encouraging. Our kids are fourth graders now in one of the most regulated states… We home-schooled 2nd grade and I almost “died” having made many mistakes. SO they did public school for 3rd. What do they miss about the school? The art and music teachers, a few of their friends…oh, and recess. Thank God, our public school has allowed our HSd kiddos take music lessons and join band! Again, thanks for sharing! Much needed encouragement!
I’m glad you were encouraged, Nilsa! Don’t worry about “mistakes” — it’s really kind of hard to make any serious ones in the elementary years. If you are working on reading and math, those are the main things, imho. Keep on plugging! :-)
Great article! I am going to read this about once a month.
LOL. I re-read it fairly often myself! :-)
Ann, Missouri has changed that ruling. You can now participate in extra-curriculars by taking just two classes, BUT the decision is up to the local district. We have an upcoming junior who wanted to play softball. She is fully capable and talented, but the local administration chose not to allow homeschoolers to participate with the explanation that the extras are a reward for their full-time students. We decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble to confront them. (Actually, I was relieved!)
Interesting. I personally don’t think I want my kid taking even TWO classes at the high school, ya know???
My two oldest have graduated homeschool and gone on to college degrees. My #1 could have taken AP courses for college credit, but instead, we opted to use CLEP exams. Not very costly and significantly less documentation. My #2 is also an art major, who will graduate in a few weeks with a degree in advertising and graphic design- did I mention he is 18? Homeschool allowed him to spend hours on his passion. He would not have been able to focus that long on any one subject in a traditional school setting. Did they get to experience “normal” high school? Nope. Did the year actually “miss out?” No way! They gained in every respect.
“They gained in every respect.” I LOVE IT. :-)
Absolutely love this article !! Thank you for sharing the success of your children!
Thanks, Danielle!
I homeschooled my daughter through 4th grade, but I had to go back to work. Public school was our only choice. I was very upset and worried about this transition, but it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened. She will be graduating high school next week. She has many Christian friends at school and in youth group at church. More importantly she has brought school friends to church and they are now believers. You can not shelter your kids from the world we live in, but you can help them to live with a Biblical worldview. As for family closeness, our relationship is even closer now than it was when we homeschooled. This past school year she made the choice to intern at the school I teach at. Just because teens have friends doesn’t mean they won’t want to spend time with family. I understand your fear, but I’ve also known homeschool kids that have fallen into those same traps of drugs, sex, etc. I really think it’s more about the individual than the school.
I’m not denying that there are opportunities at the public (or private) school — but that is not the ONLY schooling situation where opportunities exist or can be created. I’m not denying that public school can be great for some kids, and they can be busy and successful — but they can also do the same as homeschooled kids. I’m not going to debate the “shelter” comment; that is an individual family decision, and homeschooling does not necessarily equate to sheltering. The point of the article is that the only opportunities homeschooled teens are missing are the negative ones, and not to use “missed opportunities” as a reason to stop homeschooling. Thanks for the comment! :-)
Sheltering is not debatable because you said it yourself even if you don’t call it that. The homeschooled people I know are socially stunted. I don’t want my kids to be that way, and I’d rather them be exposed to all sorts of people not just the cookie cutter ones. I’d be awfully shocked as an NP to see some of the situations I walk into if I’d been that sheltered.
Your view of homeschooling is obviously very narrow. My kids were definitely exposed to all sorts of people — what are “cookie cutter” people, anyway? And what does “socially stunted” mean? Not sure what you can mean by either of those terms, since they sound quite intolerant of something that you obviously don’t know much about.
This article is truly awesome!! About the ‘it takes a village part’ though, where I’m from that still means the same as what you said as far as the government goes. We take it as a learn from others and elders who have lots of experience in something you don’t. For instance the art. If you had a neighbor that was an art major or something to that effect, they could come over every so often and teach something in art. Just thought I would share a different view point. Totally agree on how the government doesn’t know better and I am not a fan of common core at all either! Totally bummed your kids missed out on school extra curricular activities! But still looks like they did amazing anyways. That is one huge stress for me but this article gives me hope! Thanks!!
Thanks for your thoughts, Kirsten! :-)
I have found that the unique opportunities our kids got far outweighed anything they may have missed in high school. One even became President of the student body when she went to college!
Cathy Posey
YES, I agree with that wholeheartedly! And how cool is that: in college she was able to experience one of the things she “missed” when she was in high school! Woot!
Thank you for this post, Annie. So helpful!
I live in Missouri and have questions about homeschooling my Freshman. Please email me.
Email sent!
I found your post at such a great time too. We started homeschooling because of bullying (and even from teachers) I tried to get help and the school didn’t feel there were any issues other than “normal school issues”. The last straw (we were already preparing on how to take them out) the teacher said he had the class laugh at her when she came back from the bathroom (She had gone there to cry because of the stress). When he told me this (we were outside at pick up) I stood there looking at him not understanding what he was saying. When he said he thought it would “break her out of this pity party” behavior, my eyes watered up and I stayed stunned. I took my children home and we never went back.
We are in HS now (2nd year of homeschooling) and I started to worry we would be sheltering. Then I see the sports friends we have and what their children are going through at public school and I remember why we are doing this. It is going to be ok. I have to put away the enemy’s interference and remember God is all knowing and will fill all of the needs. Worldly gaps do not need to be my concern. Thank you for your post.
“Then I see the sports friends we have and what their children are going through at public school and I remember why we are doing this.” YES, I think many parents don’t even realize the extent of what their kids are going through at the public school. I’m glad you were encouraged! Thanks for your comments! HUGS!
Are all homeschool moms this stuck up? Have you ever thought to ask your kids if they want to homeschool? Mine sure didn’t, and it messed me up big time. I don’t what makes you guys think you can teach yours kids better than a certified teacher. You are so worried about “bad influences”, don’t you realize when they go into the real world the will experience all of this anyway? It is very isolating to keep your kids from their peers. Kids need to learn how to evolve into their own person, hear different ideas, socialize with different types of people.
Regarding you other post, if your teen wants to go public school, LET THEM. Trust me, I know it’s hard to be open to new ideas, but public school is not as bad as you think. They might actually make friends and high school memories. Homeschooling is just overall very depressing, but homeschool kids have to pretend they like it because of moms like you. Trust me, I know first hand.
Hi Lexi, I’ve never been called stuck up before; I find it interesting that you think I am, just because I think homeschooling is a valid form of education. That’s my opinion, and you are welcome to yours. But as you denigrate me for not being “open to new ideas,” please note that you are being close-minded yourself by thinking that there is only one way to educate. I do happen to BE a certified teacher, thank you very much, but even those that aren’t are still quite capable of overseeing a quality education for their children. All of my kids who have graduated from our homeschool went on to college and were fully able to hear different ideas, and socialize, and even be “their own person.” If your firsthand experience was “depressing,” that is too bad; and if public school was better for your family, then I’m glad it worked out for you. But don’t tear others down for doing something different. Each family should have the right to decide for themselves.
Oof didn’t think you would reply lol. Eh, I guess I can see where you’re coming from. Sorry to make you feel tore down, glad homeschool worked out for you as a parent.
Now a days it’s even worse than it was if possible. All of my grandchildren except the step ones are homeschooled. At the beginning of the year my 14 year old step granddaughter can we home and said that she is now bi-sexual after Christmas she decided she wanted to get her hair in a boy cut. Now she has announced that she is both a boy and a girl. She is so messed up.
Hi Cynthia, sounds like a very difficult situation. I wish I had some words to help! HUGS!
Thank you for sharing this article. I am new to homeschooling and I have the same worries as mentioned by you. Reading your blog has given me so much comfort and has enlightened me. I believe my child will not really miss out much by not joining public school.
They are common worries; you are not alone! HUGS!
Thank you Ann for enlightening parents. Public and Traditional school has been embedded in our heads forever. I am a 78 year grandmother who cried every time I had to drop my child at public school. I was very involved with their education (we lived in a city where homeschooling was not permitted). My eldest daughter is a former educator and was adamant about not enrolling her daughter in public school. My youngest daughter agreed. Both of my granddaughters have been homeschooled since the beginning. The results are phenomenal. My 14 year old decided she was going to study piano during Covid, she now plays classical piano and reads music fluently. My 15 year old loves art and has painted beautiful pictures, won first prize in our town for a representation of our Independence Day Celebration. The children are not stifled in home school, there is no shaming, no bullying, no feelings of inferiority, the list goes on. Their spirits remain innocent and they are growing up to be assets to our society. We watched most of their friends head down the path of public education and the distinction between them is appalling. It saddens me that these little friends they had when they were 5 and 6 have become bitter, depressed and effected by their peers. Keep encouraging parents to homeschool their kids, they are our most prized possession and a blessing from the Lord. He picks up any slack that parents may think they are lacking. “Great is the Peace of my children for they are taught of the Lord…” Our role as parents is to be sure that these precious blessings are nurtured and educated by those who love them and understand their natures. Who better than their parent. Bless you for your insight into this, many homeschool parents are intimidated by their family and friends into thinking that their child is being stifled because they are not in the mainstream public/private education system. Don’t believe it. The best thing for your child is to be homeschooled. The socialization is available and will be the parent’s choice not a stranger.
You probably have to add at the end “… if done correctly”. I am pretty sure there are so many ways to ruin a child’s childhood with a wrong schooling (home or not) in general.