Have you ever asked yourself this question? I have had to do it often throughout my adult life. “Am I important anywhere? Where might that be?” And no matter how many times I ask it, the answer remains pretty much the same. But more on that in a minute.
First, here's an interesting tidbit about me: this is not my first go-round with blogging. I had a blog almost 4 years ago, now, called Being a Woman of the Bible. (It lasted for about 6 months, lol, before I let it lapse due to multiple factors. One of them might be that I asked this question of myself yet again…)
Today I want to resurrect one of my posts from that blog. It reminds me even now that answering the question “where am I important?” is a pretty crucial thing to do regularly. Maybe you'll find your sense of purpose being renewed as you read. Let me know what you think in the comments.
Where am I important?
This question has been one I need to ask myself every now and again.
Because inside my head, though I know better, I can’t seem to eradicate the dreams of grandeur that have been living there for so long. I’ve always thought it would be neat to be important, to be known as an expert in something, to be looked up to by those around me, to be consulted and considered as a SOMEBODY.
And so sometimes I struggle with living my humdrum, non-famous life, and I try to get involved in something that will give me at least some small sense of importance. In my life that generally means some type of committee or position at church. (But if we didn’t homeschool, there is no doubt I would have been chomping at the bit to get involved in my children’s classrooms, or the booster club, or whatever, as well.)
Because then I can feel like I am doing something more worthwhile than mopping my kitchen floor or putting the millionth load of the same clothes into the washer. And then I can have that sense that others are seeing me as knowledgeable, capable, accomplished–and therefore important.
But I almost always have been brought up short by one very simple fact: I am really not that important at my church. Yes, I know, people do like me, and I would be missed if I were not there–but that is not my point.
My point is that no matter what position of responsibility or seeming expertise I may take on, I’m really no better at it than almost anyone else might be; in fact, plenty of others may do that job way better than I could.
In short, I am expendable. If I don’t do that job, someone else can and probably will. And the same would apply to the school, or more formal employment, or any other position or responsibility that I may take on outside of my home.
There is only ONE place on this entire planet where I truly am IMPORTANT. There is only one set of people that is truly dependent on me and who needs me, and only me. That place is my home, and those people are my family.
God gave those kids to me–and He gave ME to THOSE KIDS. I am their mother. There is NO ONE ELSE who can do the job of being their mother like I can. I can understand them better than any other woman, and I am the woman who most has their best interests at heart. Another woman in that position would be second best. To them, I am important. I am not expendable there.
My husband cherishes ME as his wife–no one else. Maybe someone else could do that job better, but until and unless I start pushing up daisies, I’m it. No one else SHOULD do that job instead of me; that is a position only I can fill. I am important to my husband; I am not expendable to him either.
In my home and with my family is the only place where I truly am important. That should be where my best energies go; that should be where my mind and heart spend most of their time.
To be tempted away from that by wanting kudos or recognition from others is nothing other than pride on my part, and also a laziness — an unwillingness to put the work in where it truly matters, and where it is potentially the hardest.
She is boisterous and rebellious, her feet do not remain at home; she is now in the streets, now in the squares… –Proverbs 7:11
It is easy in my rebellious heart to want to get away to where life is more exciting and I feel more appreciated. But I have often wondered if the corollary to this verse might be that a wise woman’s feet remain for the most part at home?
Now, please do not misunderstand me. I am NOT saying that a Christian woman must always stay at her house and never go anywhere; I am NOT saying that she cannot hold a position of responsibility or ministry in her church or somewhere else. I am NOT saying that she cannot work outside the home–sometimes circumstances make that necessary.
I AM saying that in all those positions that we take outside the home, we are to remember that we are expendable. They are not where we are truly important and irreplaceable. Instead, we should always keep in mind that we are not expendable in our homes and families, so we should not shortchange our loved ones by focusing our mindset or energies too much elsewhere.
I like being important. Don’t we all, if we are honest with ourselves? Maybe at home I don’t as often get that feeling of pride that comes when people compliment me on doing a wonderful job at something; but where I direct my best efforts should not be based on feelings, anyway — all of my decisions should be based on the truth. And the truth is that my husband and my kids are my most important ministry. They are beautiful creations of God, which He has given to me to nurture and encourage and feed and be there for.
And I don’t want to mess that up.
HUGS!!
–Annie
Ann has written Cure the Fear of Homeschooling High School: A Step-by-Step Manual for Research and Planning, Save Your Sanity While Homeschooling High School: Practical Principles for a Firm Foundation, and recently Taming the Transcript: The Essential Guide to Creating Your Teen's Homeschool Transcript from Scratch (without overwhelm). She also founded the popular Facebook groups It's Not that Hard to Homeschool High School and It's Not Hard to Homeschool K-8, and in addition she voices the It's Not That Hard to Homeschool High School Podcast.
- Turn screen time into story time with this innovative homeschool writing tool. - September 20, 2024
- The Secret to Finding God's Will for Today - March 25, 2024
- Our Main Reason for Homeschooling: Character Development - January 18, 2024
Love this! I couldn’t agree more. My mother passed away suddenly when I was 9 years old. My stepmom did an awesome job of raising me the rest of the way to adulthood…but nothing and no one has filled that gap left by my own wonderful mother.
I am sorry to hear of your loss, Bethany. I know your mom would have wanted to be there! I think all of us moms need to remember that when we are tired and grumpy and wanting to look elsewhere for fulfillment: that we wouldn’t truly want anyone else doing the job of being mom to our kids, if we had a choice. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, Ann. My dear friend Ann. I am in tears right now. I needed to read this today <3 Hugs and thank you!
And now I am in tears knowing you were! LOL! HUGS!!
Love this, sums up what has been in my head for a while. This is why I have a job and not a career. I know that the only people who would really feel my loss are my husband and children. Society makes this feel as if this is second best, we have to fight against societys negative attitude to the family and children.
“This is why I have a job and not a career.” YES! So well put, Lorraine! Thanks for stopping by! :-)
I am new here and this is beautifully written. So, so often I struggle with this. Typically I am bitter or jealous when I see another woman working. I homeschool my 3 children while my husband travels for work all week. The weeks are long and tiring and I usually feel unappreciated, unloved and not very fun. The really spoke to me and I have never seen anyone else that talked about this. Thank you for being real and transparent!
Thanks for your kind words, Hali! My husband travels for work lots, too, so I know where you’re coming from. Sometimes it makes us feel kinda stuck — but it actually makes answering the question a little easier, because it is more obvious that we are important right where we are! HUGS!! :-)
I loved this – thank you!
Yay! Thanks for letting me know! HUGS!
Yay! Thanks for letting me know! HUGS!